


No Matter What

by Nikolaus_Chaser



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha Castiel, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Comforting Castiel, Emotionally Hurt Dean, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Infertility, M/M, Omega Dean, Pregnancy Test, mentions of mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-05
Updated: 2016-02-05
Packaged: 2018-05-18 09:59:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5924167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nikolaus_Chaser/pseuds/Nikolaus_Chaser
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Cas have been trying for a baby.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Matter What

Dean's whole body shook as he dry heaved into the toilet bowl, the smell of half-digested food and toilet cleaner making his stomach churn again. He flushed the vomit down the drain and groaned, sitting back on his haunches and rocking back and forth. Castiel knelt behind him, petting his hair gently and looking down at him with concern.

"Are you okay to stand, sweetheart?" He asked softly. Dean nodded weakly, placing a hand on his Alpha mate's shoulder to steady him as he clambered to his feet.

"That's the second day in a row that you've woken up throwing up," Cas said, and though he was only reciting facts, Dean could smell that little bit of _hope_ seeping into Cas's scent. Dean looked up at him with tired eyes, a frown already forming on his lips.

"So what?"

Cas bit his lips, reaching out and brushing his fingers over Dean's arm gently. "Don't you think it might be...," he trailed off, looking down at Dean's stomach and swallowing. "I mean, don't you think you should at least take a test? Just to make sure."

Dean shrugged, turning away from his mate and looking down at his fingernails. "No, Cas, I don't. I think it's a waste of my damn time."

"Dean-"

"Don't _Dean_ me," the Omega snapped, glaring down at the floor. "You know that I'm right. You know that no matter how many times I throw up or gain weight or get hot flashes, I'm not gonna be pregnant." He huffed and looked up at Cas. "You know that this is what happens every time."

"Please," Cas whispered, reaching out to cup Dean's face. The Omega closed his eyes and leaned into the touch, pressing his nose to Cas's wrist and inhaling his calming scent. "Just take the test, for me. If it's negative, it doesn't matter. We've only been trying for a few months anyway."

"Two years, Cas," Dean choked out, his bright green eyes filling with tears as he looked up at his mate desperately. "We've been trying to get pregnant for two years now and-"

"And it's perfectly normal for it to take some time for an Omega to catch on their first pregnancy," Cas recited the words he had been repeating for months, stroking his fingers through Dean's hair in an attempt to comfort his Omega. Dean continued to sniffle and Castiel frowned, leaning forward to press their foreheads together. "Listen, Dean, I know what you're thinking. But you have to remember that you were on suppressants for a long time before we mated, and even then we decided to wait before we tried for pups. And anyway, there's nothing wrong with the fact that it's taking a while to get you pregnant. Trust me, I went to medical school."

Dean snorted and looked away, a small smile tugging at his lips as he wiped his eyes. "You're such a sap."

"Says the Omega whose standing in the middle of our bathroom crying for no reason."

"Shut up," Dean grumbled, turning to open up the medicine cabinet and pull out a pregnancy test. He tore to the box open, dumping its contents into the sink and picking up the little blue stick. He'd taken so many of these tests before that he no longer needed to read the instructions to know what to do; he had them memorized. He turned back to his mate, pushing his chest. "Get out of here. I'm not going to pee in front of you."

Cas rolled his eyes. "I've seen you naked a hundred times. We shower together for God's sake..." He complained, but still made his way to the door. Dean pecked his lips at the doorway, then shoved him out into the hall and closed the door behind him with a slam.

He let out a heavy sigh once Cas had left the room, slumping against the door and looking down at the unused pregnancy test in his hands. Then he placed a hand on his flat stomach, stroking his palm over his bare belly and allowing himself for the first time in a long time to hope.

He hoped that he would be pregnant. He hoped that he would be able to give his mate the family he knew that Cas wanted. His Alpha didn't say it very often anymore, and he never would say it because that would make him feel like he was pressuring Dean, but the Omega knew that his mate wanted a large family. He had grown up in one, anyway, so it was only natural for him to want one himself.

All around them people seemed to be getting pregnant and having pups. It seemed so natural to them, like all they had to do was think about getting pregnant and they would successfully conceive. Sam and his mate Amelia were on their third pregnancy in a little over seven years. And here Dean was, barren as ever, hoping and praying that for once, _for once_ he might get to see a little plus symbol on that stick.

He sighed and pushed off of the door, padding over to the toilet bowl and unzipping his slacks. He peed on the stick easily, shaking it off and placing it on the sink counter as he cleaned himself up and put his dick away. Then he sat on the toilet, head in his hands, and counted the seconds to two minutes as they went by.

Once he had counted up to 120, Dean took a deep, stealing breath and stood up from his seat on the toilet. He was still trembling, and he knew that the whole room probably wreaked with his anxiety. His heart hammered in his chest as he picked up the blue stick, lifting it up and staring at the pale green screen. It was negative. But little minus symbol that read on the screen, didn't cripple him as it had in the past. Now, he simply felt numb.

He didn't know how long he stared down at the pregnancy test, but it was long enough for Cas to start knocking on the door, and for him not to answer. Long enough for Cas to open the door and come in on his own. Long enough for Cas to pry the test from Dean's fingers and see the negative results for himself.

He set the test down on the counter and came to stand in front of Dean, cupping his face to kiss his forehead before enveloping him in a tight hug. Dean sniffed loudly, squeezing his eyes shut and pressing his nose into the crook of Cas's neck. 

"I actually..." Dean started, his throat closing up as he spoke. "This time, I thought... I thought..."

"I know, sweetheart. Me too," he whispered, kissing Dean's forehead again. The Omega shivered, clinging to Cas as tears burned his eyes. 

"I'm sorry," he whimpered, trying to pull away from Cas. But the Alpha held him close, not letting him go even as he tried to break free. Finally he stopped fighting, collapsing against Cas's chest and sobbing hard. "I'm sorry, Cas, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I'm broken, and I can't... I can't do this for you, I can't get pregnant. I don't know what's wrong with me, I just..."

"Hey, hey, calm down," Castiel said quickly, shushing Dean and cupping his face. He looked down at him sternly, blue eyes intense as they assessed his mate's face. "You are _not_ broken. By no means are you broken. And even if you couldn't get pregnant, ever, that wouldn't mean you were any less of an Omega. Any less my mate. You're perfect just the way you are."

"But what if I really can't? What if- what if you get tired of me, and I can't give you what you want? I don't want you to-to-"

"To what? Go out and find some fertile bitch to fuck full of my pups, and leave you behind?" He huffed, stepping away from Dean and crossing his arms over his chest. "Is that really all you think I want? You think I only mated with you so we could have pups?"

Dean was quiet as he wiped his eyes, and very slowly he shook his head. Cas let out a heavy sigh.

"Dean, I love you, no matter what. I didn't mate with you so we could have kids. I mated with you so I could be with you."

"But you _want_ kids." Dean whispered. Cas hummed.

"Yes, I do. But what I want even more, right now, is to go lie on the couch and watch General Hospital while eating Ben & Jerry's."

Dean snorted, a small smile lifting up the corners of his mouth when Cas reached out and took his hand. "Join me?"

"Of course I will, honey," he said. Cas smiled and kissed him on the cheek, walking Dean out of the bathroom and leaving the negative pregnancy test forgotten on the counter. 

And as they lay together on the couch, Dean draped over Cas's chest and sharing oversized scoops of ice cream with his mate, Dean thought that maybe it wouldn't matter if he got pregnant or not. Maybe all that mattered was that he and Cas were together, and no matter what, that was never going to change.


End file.
